Wednesday, May 5, 2010

What is French for "crazy guy on PCP turned over the dumpster in the alley"?

On Monday night I was shuffling around the 1st floor doing my routine- preparing as much as possible for the next day- backpacks, lunches, snacks, dishwasher, cereal bowls, retainer cleaner, dog food, mail, etc. Really the only thing I don't do to make school mornings easier is to have the kids sleep in their uniforms, although I have done that in the winter with shirts. Anyway...

Around 11 pm I hear the dumpster noises. Noises that would suggest the dumpster is being hoisted up into a of St. Louis Refuse Department trash truck. So I says to myself, "maybe it's part of the new trash department budget cuts- run trash trucks at night to save money..."

But the trash trucks don't say "you're a bitch! you're a bitch! Bitch!" Which makes me think some shirtless hoosier is fighting with his beer bellied, chicken legged, chain smoking girlfriend. Which does happen here in the 63104. So I look out the window and for a split second I see a guy with crazy eyes walking by the house. Seconds later, he starts to argue with a guy walking two small fancy dogs. More "you're a bitch!"

And my cat jumps out of the bushes and gets called a bitch too.

Guy-with-dogs sees me in the curtains and tells me to call the police. So I do. I tell describe dumpster guy as "violent" "erratic" and "behaving strangely" and soon many 3rd District police officers are cruising up and down the street.

All the neighbors came out and a debriefing was held. What we know: the dumpster/bitch caller was alone and turned over a dumpster onto my house. The guy with the dogs told him to stop. Dumpster guy called him a bitch and yanked the cell phone from dog-guy and smashed it.

ALthough I did call the police within seconds, I feel like I should have done more. Get a better description of dumpster guy. Go out on the sidewalk and assess the situation. Yell out the window that the police were being called. But like my description suggested, he was erratic and probably on some kind of violent drug so I didn't.

I'm very used to odd-balls walking around this neighborhood and they don't freak me out. This PCP/angel dust dumpster/bitch guy was different. He turned a dumpster over by himself, then called the dumpster, a dog walker and my cat a bitch.

Now the wait begins: how long will my dumpster remain toppled against my house.

The second photo is my street-lawn looking at its best right now. The roses need a serious pruning, but lovely right now.


  1. Ah, City living. Interesting how the lives of some really strange or stoopid people often intersect with our own. Fortunately, with no one harmed, we can have a bit of a chuckle about it. Call CSB about the Dumpster. Re the easement garden: Synchronised blooming in progress. A little OT, but how much trash do you need to pick out of there each month?

  2. Maybe the dumpsters should yell "you're a bitch" when, like, people illegally dump concrete chunks into them.

    Overall, scary, but reading it here, I have to admit it's pretty hilarious. Speaking as someone sitting in 63118 who once had to call on a guy high on sometihng scary who tied himself to my neighbor's house with a hose. Their hose.

  3. @samizdat- LOTS of trash, especially in the roses. The trash has a way of sticking to the thorns.

    @Bridgett-Funny you mention the illegal dumping. WHen I heard the dumpster racket, I also thought it could have been a dumper. Funny on the hose guy. By the way, saw you last weekend when I picked up my daughter from Maggie B's house. You had a baby on your back, the girls in tow and heading toward Grand.

  4. "fou sur le PCP a renversé les poubelles dans la ruelle"